Dorian tries to avoid sleeping with Mitch but he remains insistent. Dorian decides to hire a prostitute to impersonate her and take her place in Mitch's bed. Dorian thinks her scheme is a success when Marla, the prostitute, and Mitch make love. Later, as Dorian slips into bed with Mitch, she is stunned when Mitch demands to know who he just made love with.

Blair becomes agitated when Antonio questions her about Craig's murder. Troy later suspects that Blair is hiding something with regard to Mitch and Dorian.

Viki is thrilled when Jessica arrives to spend the night. Jessica doesn't tell Viki that Antonio is forcing her to stay away from Llanfair but does share the truth with Natalie. Jessica and Natalie team up to bring Mitch down and later sneak out of the cottage and make their way into Llanfair to spy on Mitch and Dorian.

Troy is anxious to get in touch with Flash and have her return to the clinic for more tests. After learning that R.J. wants Midnight Logic to perform at Capricorn again, Flash goes to the community center to see Joey. Meanwhile, Joey and Jen grow closer as Joey opens up about his own failed past love life. Flash arrives and sees Jen and Joey in a close moment. Flash suffers a coughing spell and faints. Joey immediately leaves Jen's side and takes Flash in his arms.

A remorseful Judge Grafton calls Viki asking to meet with her to discuss his ruling about Victor's will. When Viki and Cristian arrive to speak with the judge, they find his chamber empty and a pool of blood on the floor.

At the palace bar, Renee tries to convince Asa that his faithful Nigel is cheating on him with Roxanne. Asa even overhears Nigel on his cell phone leaving a "hot, burning" message for the maven of Hair Haven, but accepts his butler's explanation that he was advising their new cook about Asa's acid reflux disease. The tycoon finds the premise of their romance ludicrous, laughing that "Roxy would eat Nigel alive!" But the tease-combed night-of-the-living-dead zombette isn't the only horrifying creature in Llanview these days.

UPSTAIRS / DOWNSTAIRS: THE HAUNTING OF LLANFAIR. Upstairs, Dorian fends off Mitch's accusation that she substituted a hooker on her side of the bed. Like a villain in a slasher movie, he holds his sword of damocles over his wife's head while he grips her throat with his other hand. The phone rescues Dorian, ringing and ringing. It's driving Mitch bonkers, but Dorian pretends she doesn't even hear it. They answer it together, but only Mitch hears a man's heavy breathing through an oxygen mask at the other end of the line. It's "gaslight" time for Mitch. Downstairs, members of the Lord extended family conduct their own concerted hauntings. Jessica and Natalie tiptoe into Llanfair with flashlights searching for evidence against Mitch in the murder of his servant, specifically Mitch's cane. Their prattling is interrupted when Blair also sneaks in with her leather duffle full of tricks. The sisters hide and observe her quietly through the crack of the library doors until Blair senses something in her peripheral vision. As she pushes open both doors simultaneously, Blair cannot see that a twin is hiding behind each door. Satisfied she didn't see anything, Blair returns to the foyer and turns off the tape recorder of the asthmatic man playing into her cell phone.

Reeling mad that Dorian may be playing tricks on him, Mitch now hears the doorbell, ringing and ringing. Of course, Dorian does not hear it, but complies with his demand that she answer it. Downstairs, she conspires with Blair, who was leaning on the door buzzer and then hid in the secret passageway. They coordinate their next hoax and slip back upstairs to continue exploiting Mitch's blindness.

Viki's daughters are riveted by the strange show they've spied and their discovery that there is yet another secret panel in the walls of their ancestor home. Like the double-mint version of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, they can't resist exploring, and discover the secret crypt with its now barren mystical box. They deduce that Dorian and Blair must have taken whatever was previously there. "What'd you do down here, gramps? Count your money and stare at yourself while groping at your daughter," Natalie chides. "You bastard!" Tough as nails, she picks up a slab of the broken floor and hurls it at his creepy portrait. The painting falls and reveals yet another secret door. Behind it is a ladder that leads straight up. Turning to her more gentile sister, she asks, "You game?" Jessica is and they begin their ascent.

In the bloodied court chambers upstairs from the police station, Viki and Cristian call 911. Antonio takes their call right as the wounded judge is stumbling towards his desk. An ambulance is called, but he doesn't make it. He does hang on long enough to make a dying declaration: Mitch Laurence sent his killer, the same man who'd run the devious errand of blackmailing him with his tax fraud. His last words are for Viki, an apology for the misplacement of her family's estate. He manages to gurgle that Mitch had been threatening him and his family. Realizing that none of these allegations is actionable yet, Cristian takes Viki home where they discover that Natalie and Jessica are missing.

Mitch can't see that Blair is standing right behind Dorian, but he can hear the pacing footsteps that Blair is replicating in the doorframe to the bedroom. In frustration, he flings his dagger towards the sound and Dorian shrieks. "I screamed because I was scared. Your knife is stuck in the door," his wife explains. Still certain that someone is there, Mitch bounds towards the door but trips over an ottoman. Blair, still intact, motions for the Cramers to scram. Dorian helps Mitch up and excuses herself. Downstairs, the women bicker about the elevated danger before Blair leaves. Using this respite from Mitch, Dorian taps her sixth sense to discern the combination of the wall safe in the library. After several misses, Mitch staggers in with his blade extended to check it. Ducking from his Freddy Kruger appendage, she huddles on the floor until he leaves appeased.

Jessica and Natalie finish their climb. It leads them to the closet of Natalie's old room, now Mitch's room, and previously their mother's room as a girl. It's obvious to them that their grandfather used this entrance to pay the foulest of visits on his daughter. Mitch returns to the room. They huddle under the clothes rack while he suspiciously ripples his wardrobe with his cane. But their retreat plans are foiled when Natalie takes one last gander at Mitch and the trick panel closes too soon after Jessica. Nat is trapped and in a panic, accidentally jostles some shoes. Mitch tears into the closet after "the intruder" and starts filleting his fine casual wear with the sharp blade. Natalie lets out a Jamie Lee Curtis blood-curdling scream.

Having backtracked to the first floor, Jessica plays cat and mouse with Dorian until they hear Natalie and rush to her rescue. They find Mitch frantically stabbing at his dangling duds. Without ever having colluded before, Dorian covers for Jessica and steadies Mitch so Natalie can slip by him. Again she pretends she didn't hear a thing. Mitch wonders why Dorian would come upstairs if she did not hear the scream. Jessica's arrival is a ready excuse. Wide-eyed and heeding her stepmother's unspoken cue, Jess also asserts that no one was there.

There's loud banging on Llanfair's front door. "Now that I hear," Dorian deflates. She and Jess greet Antonio, Cristian and Viki. Mitch makes it about halfway down the stairs, close enough to shout his objection to Jessica's handcuffed arrest into custody as a material witness to murder. As he hears her being dragged away, he hollers, "Jessica! Jessica!" Mitch goes back upstairs to call his lawyer as the Lords and Vegas depart, leaving Dorian with another breather and a new guess. She goes to the safe and enters the telephone numerical equivalent of J-e-s-s-i-c-a. But no dice. "No. Think like Mitch Laurence," she reasons. "Spell it backwards." Clink. The Badhra diamond glistens atop her fingertips.

Blair is on to her next poltergeist: the recruitment of Lindsay Rappaport. She tenderly strokes Lindsay's blond locks until she is soothed and compliant. Another part of the conspiracy has been sealed.

Natalie sneaks back home and is confronted by her mother and boyfriend. But her inquisition isn't nearly as arduous as her sister's: Jessica is spending the night in jail, or Dorian's: Mitch has discovered the diamond missing and is holding Dorian at knifepoint in front of the safe. Counting down from ten until he decapitates her, he reaches "six" when the sound of the asthmatic breathing fills the air. Dorian smiles.

At the hospital, Flash is seen by Troy who gets her to admit that she's been coughing up blood for awhile. He diagnoses "walking pneumonia" and anemia and tells her that the combination of the two doesn't make for a good prognosis. He wants her to stay in bed and advises her not to sing any time soon. Devastated, Flash gets him to agree to let her tell her band in person and Joey as well, promising to return. The reverend is waiting outside of the room for news.

Running into Rex at Capricorn where he's now employed, Jen explains that she didn't divulge his name to the police or Renee because he's a friend. Her new motto is "live for today."

Antonio vows to keep Jess safe even if he has to keep her behind bars. He brings a pizza to share for dinner and afterwards, they play a game of Backgammon. He thinks she's stupid for doing what she's done, especially since Mitch could kill her as well. During the game, their hands accidentally meet; they look at each other awkwardly. "Your turn," Jess finally manages to say. After Antonio keeps winning, he offers to cancel the debt if Jess will promise to stay away from Mitch. Jess refuses to promise, even after she learns about the judge being killed in addition to Craig. Antonio believes that Dorian must be the only one safe as she's in on everything but Jess leads him to believe otherwise.

A crazed Mitch screams and curses; he knows someone else must be in the house as the noises and heavy breathing continue. Dorian denies hearing anything as Blair arrives and makes the announcement that Lindsay is dead. She slit her wrists but confessed everything to Addie before she died, Blair continues. She proceeds to summarize the whole scenario correctly, including the fact that Mitch framed Todd for Sam's death, though Mitch denies it all. When Blair proclaims that she'll be calling the cops, Mitch says nasty things about Blair's mom which in turn causes a "commotion" between Blair and Dorian. When Mitch refuses to let Dorian take Blair home, she tells him she's leaving him because of his treatment of her. She happily reminds him that he's been cursed by Lindsay. After the women leave, Mitch finds his "diamond" still in the safe as Blair secretly returns to play further tricks on him. As the events keep up, Mitch screams and falls and lashes out. Seeming to become totally out of his mind, he realizes that he must get rid of the diamond. Dorian returns, telling him she just couldn't leave him in the condition he's in. What a mess the room is, she exclaims.

Evangeline shows up at Capricorn, insists on paying her own way, and tells R.J. to call her assistant if he needs legal advice. She notices Jen and lets her know that she'll be entering her mother's plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. She'd like Jen there for support. Nearby, Max finally gets both Andrew and Renee to agree to invest in his new club "Ultraviolet" that he's opening with a changed R.J. He tells Rex he's ok with him working there. R.J. places a call to Cole, ordering him to stop by the club. Evangeline has a change of heart when she learns about R.J.'s recent family losses as well as his new club. Cole shows up on the pretense of a new job on the loading dock and R.J. shows him his special "invoice" which is really a blueprint of the layout of Lindsay's gallery. Evangeline heads back to R.J. and offers to listen to him if he wants to talk; she's just heard about his loss. She also suggests he call the other number on the business card she's given him; it's not her assistant but her own home number. After she leaves, Max can't help but mention how attractive she is. R.J. orders him to go home.

Andrew arrives at the hospital to see a patient and spots Joey, waiting for word on Flash. Joey confides that he hates Mitch but Andrew advises him that he's only human and he'll be able to deal with it eventually. Flash tells Joey she just needs some antibiotics.

At the garage, Flash gets ready to perform with the band, telling them she just has bronchitis. Jen shows up and Joey apologizes for leaving her earlier. She understands that he had to get Flash to the hospital. They also seem to have an awful lot in common, she mentions to him. When she notes how Flash is looking on, she plays up to him more, putting her hands on him and asking him to dance. She asks him to leave with her but Joey turns her down. He was glad to help her out but that's it, they're just friends, he tells her. She admits she's ok with that. As Flash continues to sing, a newly arrived Andrew can't help but notice how Flash is looking at Joey dancing with Jen.

When the club is finally empty, R.J. sits with Rex and Cole. He wants no screw-ups, he tells them. And there's an alarm system at the gallery which they should be able to handle. Unknowing to them, Max has returned to the club and overhears their plans to break into the gallery.

Jess confesses what happened at Llanfair and how Dorian covered for Natalie and distracted Mitch when she got caught in his bedroom. She and Antonio deduce that Dorian is actually working against Mitch and with Blair. She's probably just out for herself, they decide.

Mitch directs Dorian to clean up the "blood" that he thinks is all over the chair (Blair has poured a liquid there) but she tells him nothing is there. He's freezing, the doors blow open. Suddenly, Lindsay appears reading a bible passage: "...sinned against the Lord and their blood shall be poured out as dust..." Mitch falls to his knees, screaming Lindsay's name. She, Blair and Dorian can only stand there and gloat.

Thursday, May 1, 2003

Friday, May 2, 2003

Recaps for the week of May 5, 2003 (Following Week)