So where was the pizza? Every year on GH, the Quartermaine family attempts to have a traditional turkey dinner, and through some odd series of Unfortunate Events, they end up ordering pizza. Mayhem. Slapstick. Silliness. Where was it? It didn't happen this year, maybe because we have the wrong Edward and no Lila, or maybe because ABC decided we'd rather see a rerun, or assumed we wouldn't be watching anyway. I didn't want to see a rerun, I rarely ever watch things twice. I watch to follow a story, and after I know the story, what's the point? (Notable exception "It's a Wonderful Life" and a few other favorites I watch repeatedly, but on the whole? Reruns are a waste of time in my mind. I, for one, missed the Annual Quartermaine Thanksgiving Debacle and feel cheated. It would be like Thanksgiing without the Macy's parade. Or the Macy's parade without bad lip-synching pseudo pop stars. It just wasn't right.
Instead, with only 3 episodes this week, not much happened, but many characters have reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving. Carly and her bad Cher wig made it out of the fire she set at Ric's thanks to Stephen. Sam made it in out of the snow where she passed out, thanks to Alexis. Connor and his bad "I coulda been a contendah" accent got busted by the MP's thanks to Emily. Nikolas is in jail thanks to his own stupidity by confessing to Helena's murder. (Like any of us believe she is actually dead...) Carly has an alibi for starting the fire, thanks to her Dad, John Durant, who wants to bust Sonny, but not bad enough to see Carly in jail for evidence tampering. Jason planted a bug in Durant's room thanks to the fact he's a thug and does thing like plant bugs in people's rooms, and because they are trying to prove Durant is the one who stole the incriminating file from Sonny's place. Alexis has the file now and is blackmailing Sonny with it thanks to the fact that she doesn't seem to comprehend the fact that Sonny could easily have her whacked and get sole custody of Kristina because he's in the mob and things like that come easy for him.
Diego has a sister (thanks to writers who think we might be interested in Diego's extended family) and the kids end up in jail thanks to said sister pretending she doesn't know them, and the fact that some fictional Soap Opera airline customs employee let a bunch of minors leave the country without written permission from an adult parent or guardian or proper documentation.. Why is Diego's sis pretending not to know him? Who knows- the kids may have to crack out the Ouija Board again to solve that mystery, or put a call in to Shaggy and Scooby.
Heather is plotting to kill Edward, thanks to the fact that she is a psychopath, and Luke, Skye, Tracy and Edward are plotting against Heather thanks to the fact they have to wrap up Heather's stupid storyline and tie up her loose ends before she bolts from GH with unresolved issues or else they would have to bring her back again in another decade or so.
Sam has a nightmare while she is in the baby's room thanks to the fact that she didn't listen to Jason who TOLD her not to go in there and warned her how hard it would be to confront all the baby's things with no baby.
What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Heather almost suffocate Edward so he can come back as John Ingle after a brief stint in the hospital? Will the Federali's keep Diego locked up in jail until he turns 18 (please)? Will the social worker give Courtney more foster kids since she did such an amazing job with Diego, letting him flee the country and not calling the cops and all? Will Helena crawl back up the bluffs and out of the cave she's been hiding in, building a new cryogenic lab in to save Nik from prison? Will anyone wash Stephen's face and get the charred ash off of him, like say maybe his sister, the nursing student?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, so I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
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