10: Bring in quality characters and stick with them! The merry-go-round of month to month players make the show and its producer look desperate. Kimberly, Mary, Tony, Whip, Sydney, Stephen, Christian, Massimo, Jackie (where's she been lately?), etc. My theory...don't put them in the opening montage if you won't let them stick around.
9: Keep Ridge in Europe...forever. His character has outlived its usefulness and he and that ho Donna deserve each other. They can grow old together competing to see who can 'out ego' the other.
8: Bring back key 'family' members from ALL sides. Where's CJ? How about Rick? I hear Storm is coming back as a re-cast (not happy about that...loved Ethan Wayne) which is a step in the right direction but what about Brooke's mom? How about Katie? I have been hoping for Kristen's return for longer than I can remember. To really have a quality soap, I truly believe the families that are the cornerstone of the past history can help bring it back as well.
7: Cut Taylor loose if this is the best you can give her. I make no apologies about my liking of her character over the years and when she came back from the dead AGAIN I was happy. Well, not so much now. If Omar knew she would be turned into a vehicular murderess with a drinking problem and a loose libido for Brooke's dad, he would likely have kept her hostage in the tent longer.
6: Bring back the business intrigue or perhaps a good murder mystery. I say more scenes in the boardroom and less in the gynecologist's office. Someone needs to get bumped off and several characters brought under the umbrella of suspicion. Kill this fool Shane and keep up guessing who may have done it. Hector (with the cane in the living room), Taylor (with a broken wine bottle on the terrace), Phoebe (with a curling iron in the bathtub) or maybe Stephanie (with a push down the stairs). See? Now that wasn't hard was it?
5: Give every female character on this show some birth control pills. The inconvenient pregnancies and 'Who's the Daddy' stories have gotten so out of hand that I can't even keep my Golden Retriever in the same room anymore to lay at my feet. If he hears the words 'paternity test', he 'yipes' and leaves the room.
4: Let Brooke have at least one marriage that lasts more than the average bathroom visit. I am all for drama but come on people! After all she has pulled over the years that we have gone over ad nauseum, can't she have some peace and quiet for a change. I am ready for a rock-solid Brooke Logan marriage that doesn't involve infidelity, ill-timed pregnancies and Ridge-based poor decision making. After she finds out about Nick and Bridget, she might as well go back to the convent in Ojai and hang up her teddy for good.
3: Bring back Deacon. Plain and simple...that man caused more havoc with the majority of the female characters than anyone since. I am starting to become a believer in his power to compel us all to tune in. He could stir the pot in more ways than I can list here tonight and I miss him.
2: Have Bridget's spawn be Dante's instead of Nick's child. She is too immature to be a mother anyway but honestly, if Brad wants people to actually watch every day he'll make sure not to link Nick to Bratty Barbie forever through a child. Felicia can deal with all that better than Brooke will and I have a sneaking suspicion that Bridget KNOWS it could not be Nick's kid. Her character has reached a 'point of no return' with me anyway...
1: Stop the character deconstruction of Nick. It's my suspicion that the majority of fans actually liked Nick as the 'anti-Ridge' and his presence onscreen became a much-needed breath of fresh air for long time viewers like myself. Now he is no better than Ridge at his worst. This show (and for that matter, Brooke) needed a strong male lead that would make us all WANT to tune in. Well, that's going right down the toilet. Every one has flaws...I get that. But instead of writing to new characters and taking us in interesting directions, we have decided to take the easy way out and just smear the same couple of characters in new ways every week. A seventh grader could come up with better than this.
SOAPBOX
Della writes: 'How about that, Bridgett (little Miss Goody Two-Shoes) is a whore... I just love it!My question is, what is the big deal with the dysfunctional incestuous family theme. Do the writers think that this is the only concept that the viewers of this ridiculous storyline understands. I think someone should tell them NO...Besides what kind of message does this send to young impressionable women who may be watching- even though we all know this garbage is not real! What I believe is that the writers are too lazy to come up with a storyline that has some merit...By the way, I have already stopped watching this crazy storyline. It's degrading and tells me that the writers of this show do not care about the viewers and the fact that we have intelligence!'
CJAM writes: 'Kristine, excellent column as usual. I am willing to bet that Bridget is preggers for Dante and will try to pass the baby off as Nicks. I believe that once the Brookester learns the truth, she will want to give Nick up for the sake of the baby, BUT I believe that she'll also learn that Ridge is marrying Donna and that she just can't be alone. She'll debate that she's lost Ridge to Donna and she's not about to lose Nick to Bridget. She'll tell Nick that he could still be a father to Bridget's baby and that she forgives him, remembering her OWN glass house and they will tell Bridget together, that they are going to stay married. But the kicker is that Bridget will know that Nick isn't the father and that Dante is, she's just using the baby to try to break them up. In the end, they'll all learn that Dante is the actual father of Bridget's baby and the Brookester will tell her off, they'll fight and hopefully the Deacon stuff will come out and they'll decide not to be buddies an! ymore, the gloves will indeed come off.'
Sharon says: 'Just had to address a comment made by Houston "Brooke has slept with every man on the show." I've seen this comment made by other viewers who are apparently watching a different B&B than I am. Brooke has not slept with "every man on the show." She has not slept with Hector, Dante, Dr. Dimples, Massimo (not that he's on the show any longer, but Megan apparently went for him), and now Shane and Harry. That's why I can't take a Brooke hater's opinion seriously - the ridiculous exaggerations.'
One more note before I sign-off for the week: I loved what Felicia said on Friday about Brooke about handcuffing Nick to this 'perfect man' status she trumpets every day. Some of the best dialogue written lately...too bad it was uttered by a character that is so underused.
Have a great week everyone!
